This December 13th  is the 9th anniversary of my most major MS attack - the one that left me permanently disabled on my right side. I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis the very next day. It seems my body has kicked off the festivities a bit early this year though.

I woke up yesterday and my left hand was tingly and numb like I slept on it wrong. By lunchtime, my whole left side was numb/tingly and I lost most of my strength. It was hard to stand up, walk, or raise my left hand. This is the suck. So far, this is not as aggresive an attack as I had 9 years ago, but it pisses me off just the same.

 I seem to have gotten a lot of strength back after sleeping last night - which I was quite pleasantly surprised about. I guess I will choose to be happy about that and not dwell on the fact that I still cant really feel anything on that side very well right now.

Yes, the threat of further disability is something we have to consider as a possibility everyday - but it is something that I never want to think about too much. And yet here it is. I was so hopeful that being part of this new drug study would shield me from the MS a bit. I dont even know if Im on the med or the placebo. I was hopeful though, but not so much right now. I am just sad and mad mostly. I have been here before and its not a good place to be.

Perhaps this is just MS's way of reminding me it's still here and active 9 years later. This is just all the more reason to keep up the fight for the needs of all ablegamers. I need something to keep my mind off of all of this so I believe Im going to go gaming for the rest of the afternoon as best as I can with my gimpy hands. I feel like blowing things up and killing orcs. That always makes me feel better. Gaming therapy - mmmmmm.